Composure is the first key of good discipline

Composure is an important tool in parenting

Composure.  Such a simple word and so powerful.  This is one of the most important skills a parent can learn.  It will allow you to stay in control of your emotions, earn the respect of your family and handle any situation you find yourself in. By being unflappable, you teach your child that it is pointless to make a scene, and thus bypass many of the dramas of modern parenting.

When you lose your composure, you are more likely to react in ways that you will regret later.  You may slap your child, make contemptuous comments that wound them deeply, impose punishments out of proportion to the offence or damage your authority by yelling and arguing with your child.

Composure creates respect and awe

Losing your composure is not only detrimental to discipline, but, if it occurs on a regular basis, will erode a child’s natural awe of his larger than life parents. The perception that there is nothing they can do to upset you goes a long way to developing a healthy respect and awe of you in your child. By awe, we do not mean fear but the emotions of reverence, admiration and wonderment.  These are the emotions that will ensure that your children accept what you are trying to teach them and, later, will ensure that they do not challenge you as teenagers.  If you have not established your position as deserving of respect and awe by then, you will have little chance of maintaining control over your teens.  Fear of disciplinary measures alone will not work with teens.

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