For a home to work well, there must be a clear leader (or leaders) to guide the team, or in this case, the family. There can’t be constant arguments and negotiations about chores, bath times, homework, computer time, television watching, phone calls, friends coming over, bed time, sleepovers – the list is endless. Parents become worn out and frustrated, tensions run high and the harmony in the home is disrupted.
I always say a happy family needs to work like an army unit. You have the officers who set the rules and the soldiers who follow them. There would be chaos if soldiers felt they could question their leaders’ every order. And all too often, that is exactly what you see in families – chaos.
In a family, the leaders (parents) usually have a goal of raising decent kids and creating a safe, happy family environment. They need to have faith in their ability to achieve that mission and a plan as to how to achieve it. They need the confidence to quietly assert their right to make the decisions in the family and to expect the ‘troops’ to respect those decisions. If every decision is up for negotiation, the plan will soon fall to pieces.
If parents don’t believe in their ability to lead the family, how can they expect their kids to follow them or respect their decisions?